Bank Holiday Monday

I've no school today! Woo!
Yet, I feel shit today! Not so woo...

Typical, eh? The day you officially have a day of freedom & you just happen to not feel so good. That really has tendency to occur on my free days. Grrr....!

I didn't sleep well last night, tossing & turning because of a stomachache. I had planned to sleep in because of that, but a friend texted me before 9am to contact my boyfriend for her - their maths teacher organised a day of maths so they could get on top of things for the Leaving Cert (he's in the year ahead of me) - to see where he wanted to be picked up so she could bring him into school.
So, after that, I tried to get back to sleep... Does anyone notice when you really want to sleep & you get really comfy, you end up needing the toilet? This always happens to me! So I trudged across the hallway to the bathroom, before --

*Breaking News:* Mam just came into my room to tell me that my cousin got engaged yesterday! Yay! Her new fiancé is such a sweetheart! Ooh, happy times!

Ah, where was I? Oh yeah, basically I told Mam & Dad that I felt ill & I was going to sleep for a bit longer. It didn't help that my stomach had begun to really irritate me once more, but I did manage to accomplish my mission & I arose around 11am.

The plan for the rest of today is to get whatever homework & study done for tomorrow. My tummy is still bugging me so I don't know what else I'll do, maybe stream a film or something. Mam wants me to do a few things about the place, but I'm not very willing to do much at the moment... Am I ever? Yes, I am a lazy git.

Anyhow, I better go put some clothes in the dryer. Talk soon,

Shauna

Happy Paddy's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! ^_^

Job Offer! :D

FINALLY, after searching for a job since February, I've gotten a job offer for part-time in a local cafe.
I'm so freakin' happy! I had originally hoped for a summer job & had given up once school had started. However, I swear someone is looking out for me up there. The popular cafe in town had notices put up around the school for a "weekend job, suitable for students 16 & over". My friends & I ripped down all the notices, so no one else would even dare to ask for the job, if others already had. We weren't exactly playing fair, but it's too late now! Haha! XD
I had gone in last Wednesday, before rugby training, & handed in my CV, trying to not act all weird - sort of hard since "weird" comes au natural to me! I must have succeeded though as I just received an email from one of the owners. She wants to know would I be interested in working, starting around the mid-term break in October... WOO!!!!
The only problem I have now is whether I'll be here at home or not, then. My parents plan to go up to see my extended family, up where they're from. I sort of want to go too...
Scrap all that! Dad just came into my room. He said we won't be going up if I want to work... I feel sort of guilty that they're going to change the family plans just for me. We haven't seen any of my nannies, aunties, uncles or cousins in months! I'm happy at the same time too, though. Hopefully I won't work the bank holiday weekend & we can still visit my family.
We'll see how things work out, but, firstly, I'll have email the cafe to say I'd feckin' love to work for them!!!
Well, in a more mannerly way, of course! :P haha!
I just hope now that I can keep up with the pressure of school on top of the job... I'll find out, I guess!

Anyway, goodnight! <3

Update On My Boyfriend & I

I posted a few days ago about himself & I was pretty pissed off. I read yer comments & thank you for your support & advice.

We talked things out & he's trying to work harder. He knows he needs extra help with English soon & I know I need to learn to breathe & relax too!

So, the basic gist of things is that everything is alright again. Things have been going well the last few days & will hopefully continue that way!

Just letting ye know! :)

Gathering Support Group Info!

I'm trying to make a page for bullying support groups/websites that people can turn to in a time of need. These are places for people that just want to talk & let their feelings out or get help to deal with the situation that they're in.
So far, I've only really managed to find one that I like so far (I'm trying them out myself before I put then up,). It's hard to find time to check them all.
However, if you know any support groups/websites for bullying or even for anyone BGLT or whatever, that would be great! Especially as it wouldn't feel right for me to bust into their support groups, since I don't happen to fall into the BGLT category. It'd be sort of intruding on people that do, I feel, especially in a support group or site... Okay, I'm rambling, sorry!
The basic gist of things are that I'm hoping that anyone that knows ANY good support websites or group for ANYthing, please comment on this post! I've a good insight for bullying groups, as I've been bullied myself. Otherwise, I'd appreciate the help from you, as I wouldn't know what would be good for people in situations I've never been in myself. Y'know?

So, comment below to help! Thank yoooooooou! :)

The Events of Today!

Overall, school was alright today. I was happy to see my friends & talk to them & the likes, but, like I had thought I would, I'm going to have to do Geography... I hate the teacher we have. I had him for four years & was more talk rather than action. I'm seriously going to have to study to insure I can do the best I possibly can! I want to get at least a B2 (a B grade in US terms, I think), in Honours Level. So, there's to be no messing the next two years!
   Also, Art & Design Communication Graphics are scheduled to be on at the same time, so I had to pick one of the other. I decided on Art, as it's required to do, to get into the college course I want to do. However, DCG is also looked highly upon, as well, as the subject is basically based on the idea of Graphic Design & Visual Communications, so I'm pissed that I couldn't do that. I even asked the Career Guidance Councillor whether I could do it outside school, or at least another way & she said it was not recommended at all. Plus I would need to be supervised by a teacher when doing the project section of the exam, over a number of weeks & I wouldn't have that at home!
   When we arrived at school, it was found that all our lockers had been cleared out & rearranged. We were to pay €10 for a new locker! This was totally new. Originally we payed €5 the very first day in First Year, when we start secondary school & then have that locker for the next six years. We thought that was great. Cheap & easy! However, now, that won't be the case we'll have to pay €10 every year & be assigned new lockers. A heads up would have been nice! I mean, back in May, before we left for the summer. That way we would have had our lockers cleared out, instead of looking for our books today, throughout the school! Some of us were lucky, like myself, where all of our books where put in plastic bags with our names on them, or, piled up neatly. However, some weren't as lucky. I know some people have important books missing & others can't find any of their stuff at all! So much for thinking that your schoolbooks were safer left in your locker!
   One good thing today was that I did get three of the four subjects that I wanted, Art, Physics & French. Even better is that I just may have the best French teacher in the school! I really hope so. She's an excellent teacher. Plus, she's so bloody sound!

Also, today, I got a job offer from Supervalu, the local supermarket. Typical since summer is now over! I was really happy though, but then I found out that it would be 3/4 days a week, one day possibly being on the weekend, while the others would be after school, 5 - 9pm. This means I could have serious problems with trying to study & get homework done... Ugh! So, after talking with some of my friends & Mam & Dad, I'm going to call the manager back tomorrow & tell her the problem, but also mention that I'd be willing to work Friday evenings, weekends & school holidays. So, hopefully, that'll help me out somewhat & I'll see what she says.

Well, that's it for today!

Goodnight <3

Little Quotes I Love on Happiness

Stand Up For Yourself!

Standing up for yourself can be one of the most terrifying, yet brave things you can do.

I can recall one time that I truly stood up for myself.
   It must be a year ago now. We were in the locker room in school. I was sitting on the floor with my friends, while she & a few of our mutual friends were getting books for the morning classes. I was telling the girls I would do it.
    I called her name. She turned to look at me, a fake smile plastered across her face. I'm sure mine looked similar, though, my whole body shook with nerves & fear.
   I told her I had heard what she had said about me. I watched, satisfied, as the corners of her mouth dropped. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
   "The walls have ears y'know."
   I loved watching her squirm! I had imagined the whole thing out the night before. All the different scenarios. Never did I think that I would actually make her feel so uncomfortable.
   She kept denying it. However, I knew she had being commenting about how it looked as if I had a moustache. One of our mutual friends had told me, J. So, I told her if she ever did have something on her chest & wanted to tell me, I was all ears.
   She repeated that she didn't say anything. She was getting agitated, banging her locker.
   "Relax," is what I had said, earning a death glare. I remember a smirk curling the corners of my mouth. The shake in my voice was long gone. "I'm just saying, if you do, come talk to me. We're friends, aren't we?" My voice was thick with sarcasm.
   She had her back to me, opening her locker again.
   "Look at me. If you're not lying, you can at least look me in the eyes and say it."
   She never did look me in the eyes, though she did storm out of the room. I recall words being passed between us just before she left, but I can't remember what was said. I do remember the sheer joy, as she left the room.
   I had stood up for myself!
   I remember J & R laughing, saying that it was the best thing ever. They loved seeing how she got caught out. D had asked for an explanation, as she hadn't heard what had been said the day before.
   I was still shaking. I had stood up to talk to her, so, leaning against the wall, I slid to the ground. Utter relief passed through me.  It was one of the best feelings I have ever had! I couldn't believe I had done it, but I had & I was so damn proud of myself.

So, stand up for yourself.

Fight back with words!

Think ahead, use your brain!

Your nerves & fears will subside as you watch them struggle.

Don't let them push you around anymore!

<3

Emotional Moment

A little while ago I  read something a friend wrote.

I was one of those questionaire posts that you see everywhere on facebook.

One question asked, simply, who was her best friend & she said it was me, as I've known it to be for the last good few years.

However, I don't know why, but I got all teary & sort of cried.

Like, it was on of those "I feel so touched" cries.

It was sort of strange, but I felt, at that moment, that there will always be someone there for me, someone who doesn't care judge me for what I do or how I look.

I think all the thoughts of going back to school have brought up bad feelings, again.

So, this little thing just brightened up my day a little.

Late Night Messaging!

Three-way chat on facebook,

Plus

Three sleep-deprived, hyper, friends,

Equals

One long conversation stretching throughout all hours of the night;

Random bouts of hysterical laughter;

Way too many inappropriate jokes;

Angry Parents, "Get to bed!";

Droopy eyelids;

Tired smiles;

Happiness.

USA! USA! USA!

OH MY GOD!!!

I'm going to Colorado!

I can't wait!!!

Mam & Dad have been looking for good ticket prices fot the last week. Today, they got freakin' lucky and found tickets for five adults (over 12 yrs) €1400 cheaper than yesterdays best offer! Woohoo!!!

I'm so damn happy! This'll be my fourth time ever going to the USA - my aunt lives in Colorado with her husband. I freakin' love it there! When I'm finished my education and I've the money, I really want to move there. It's actually one of my aspirations in life - no doubt about it!

Oh, I can't feckin' wait! We'll be leaving  Dublin December 19th, stopping of in Chicago for 3 hours, & then continuing onto Denver, where we'll then have to drive to my aunts, but she recently moved closer to the city - my uncles a pilot. We'll then be doing the reverse on Janruary 6th, just stopping off for 5 hours in Chicago instead of 3.

I'm all giggly thinking about it all!

Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!! 

My Day Today!

I don't know really what to say, except I know I want to say something. So I'll speak about my day!
My day was pretty good overall, however, I was really tired this morning. I then started to feel sick, so Mam let me go lay down in bed instead of working. Mam reckons it may be my iron tablets (I'm slightly anaemic) that are making me feel ill. I've been taking them more lately because I've been feeling light headed more &, on top of that, I'm on my period. One of the side effects of the tablets is that you can feel nauseous, so I won't take one tomorrow. I actually slept until 1.30pm because of that!

Later, Mam headed off to town with my sister and got some Father's Day gifts for Dad. I already got him a huge card, but I asked my sister to buy him Butler's chocolates for me & Iwould pay her back. She was going to buy him a book. I think it's called The Lost Symbol. It's one of those Da Vinci Code books. By Darren Brown, I think. But, they didn't have it in stock. I don't know what she got him now, instead. I'd say she ordered in the book though.

After dinner, Mam, my sister and my brother went back into town to the small local theatre to see Snow White and the Huntsman. Meanwhile, I finished whatever jobs I had to do & then skyped IM. It was great to talk to her! I felt awkward at first though. I don't know why. It was okay after a few minutes, though. I'm so glad to just chat with her. I had so much to say, but I forgot. -_-" I have to learn to make a list before we talk! Plus we get so easily distracted! Like I think we were having a little rant about younger kids having mobile phones and the like and we ended up talking about Polly Pocket and the old toy sales at school. I love it though. There isn't many people I can just talk like that to.
I had to hang up on her, though, when her mam and partner came to my house. I still find it funny how they came over to Ireland at different times, with only a week or two between when IM was here. Her mams doing some work over here, so it isn't all holiday anyway, so I guess it's understandable. Anyway, I talked with her mam, A, and her mam's partner, P, until around 10pm when they went to bed. I've always loved A and it was so great to see her, but I'd never met P before. I like him. It makes me smile when he jokes around a bit with A. I like seeing her face light up. It's so cute! God, I almost started crying. Like happy tears. I'm such a wuss! I'm just happy for her.

And the tears start again. I seriously need to man up or something! I don't ususally do this. Haha!

Anyway, I'm off to bed! Busy day tomorrow! :) Sleep well all of you and have a good day tomorrow
Goodnight! <3

Feeling Good! :)

I like the way I've been feeling lately! I'm just plain happy.

Like, okay, there's moments I feel sort of crappy, or I just really miss all my friends and I want to do nothing but talk to them. Be with them. But I get over those moments easy enough and I'm fine again. Well, half-cracked, but that's totally normal in my case. It wouldn't be any fun if I was anything but!

I don't even have as much problem working either. Yes, I get a bit annoyed doing everything for mam, and I might mess on the iPod a bit, but I'm still doing my work more and I don't complain as much as I normally would. Actually, overall this season in the B&B, I have been basically just doing the work! I hope whatever has made me do this doesn't go away. I quite like the way I'm working. Hopefully it'll rub off onto my studying skills come the end of August! :P

I'm trying to get along with Dad better too. I like it when we're not annoyed at one another. We're so much alike, however, which makes it so easy to be annoyed. But I love him and I know he loves me, so it makes me happy that we're not at each other as much lately! :)

I don't even really feel depressed or down really any more either! Maybe just the odd time I'll get that empty feeling when I think of IM & my other close friends, D, J & R, and how I miss them, but I then just try to message one of them and it usually helps shake the loneliness off. I think I'll try and meet D soon, if the weather clears up. She lives the closest to me of all my friends, so we'll maybe just meet up and walk around our area and just talk. It might help the empty feeling to become even less again. :) I may not feel like I can tell D everything, sometimes, but I think I'm going to try and do that now. Bottling things up like I do doesn't really help and I can't just wait to Skype or meet IM in person any more. It gets too much for me, so I get depressed and stuff. So I'll have to learn to trust D more. It's hard to know what she thinks though, at times. Whatever. I need to stop worrying what people think of me anyway. I can just ask her if I really want to know. I need to relax more - that's probably why I'm happy more too. I'm more relaxed than I would be at school! I'm going to try keep it that way :)

Anyway, here's the first photo of me I've posted on my blog :)

The lighting and whatever is a bit iffy - it's my webcam and I've only my lamp on.

I'm ready for bed though in my lovely Transition Year hoodie! Haha! :P

Well, Goodnight all! Sleep well :) <3

Today...!

Today, I got up at 8am and, as usual, I served breakfast to the Bed & Breakfast guests. Afterwards, I talked to some elderly guests from New Zealand.
They were lovely! Sometimes, it's sad to say goodbye to some people. I'll probably never see most of them ever again. Only a small number actually come back repeatedly.
I then proceeded to clean the an suite bedrooms upstairs with the help of the young French woman works in our B&B a few days a week. She's really nice and humorous! Her English isn't the best, but it doesn't hold her back - she could basically be a long lost family member! However, I had to go around the place after her to make suree she hadn't forgotten anything... Which she had. I hate having to tell her she did this, that and the other wrong. I feel like such a nag. She won't learn if I don't, though.
Then, after lunch, Mam made us cut up plums for the jaam she's making tomorrow (she sells some in the local shops). Three freakin' boxes! It took 2hrs 30mins to 3hrs - no exageration. I now hate plums. The jam better feckin' turn out well tomorrow!

I had two proud moments today.

The first moment was when my best friend IMed me over Skype while I was cutting plums. She fucking kicked ass in her National Tests!!! All As! I felt she could do it from the amount of work she said she was putting into it all, but it's even better that she did get the marks thaat she deserved! 300 out of 320 points... It makes me smile. I'm so bloody proud of her, you'd swear she was my own child! Haha!

The second moment was when I was just having a chat with my little sister. And, Oh my God, she's growing up! No more is she stealing her twin brothers tractors and cars for herself (she was a Tom boy - still is a bit). No. Today I was trying to get it out of her did she like a lad at school. She didn't, but she caught on to all my dirty double meanings. When I was 12, I got hardly any of the stuff she gets. I think I'm a bad influence. Haha! So, I tried to catch her out.

Me:"Okay. You like none of the lads at school... So, how about actors?"

Sister: *Turns bright red* Gale from The Hunger Games. Liam Hemsworth. He's good looking.

We now plan to marry a Hemsworth brother each. Liam for her. Chris for me!

I love to see that I can joke with this sort of stuff with her now!

The day was alright after that, not too much jobs or whatever. I got time to breath! Oh, and to drop a few jokes about Liam on my little sister. She's currently not related to me! Lmao! XD

Anyway, t'is late and I've to get up at 7am to serve breakfast tomorrow. Dad is away at work, so can't help mam in the morning.

Nighty night! :) <3



Smile! :)

What you may not know, from the direction of a lot of my posts, is that I can be quite a smiley person!

I feel that everyone should smile at least once a day & I don't mean that you should plaster a big fake grin across your face for five minutes.

No. I hate fake smiles.

I hate when I've to do it when I serve breakfast to the guests!

Like this morning, I was pissed off at mam for telling me how to do stuff which I already knew how to do perfectly and what I needed to do next, which I knew!

So I wasn't happy or smiley or whatever. I more than likely looked like I wanted to kick the shit into someone (possibly because I did! Haha!), but when I walked into the dinning room with tea and coffee I had to smile. It'd be really crap if I gave someone their tea and they looked up to say thank you, only to get a murderous stare in return. Yeah... Not a good way to run a business!

But I still don't like fake smiling. I can always feel the corners of my mouth trying to obey the force of gravity, as I try to fight it.

Gravity always wins the battle. I stop fighting as soon as I close the dinning room door.

I love when I talk to my friends and we have a bit of a laugh, and, then, they start to complain that their cheeks hurt from all the smiling and laughing.

I always say it's because they need to exercise their cheek muscles more!

The two of my closest friends it happens the most too, say I'm the only one that makes them smile enough to make their cheeks hurt.

It makes me happy to know this. I absolutely love making people smile or happy.

It makes me happy!

I love saying hello to random people and plastering a grin on their faces because of the sheer oddity of it all!

Or when I say "Hello! How are you?" to shopkeepers or shop attendants! There's always the odd dour ole feck that just says "hi." in response and doesn't even look at you, but a majority of them smile back and chat with you while you pay! Then as you walk away, you hear them give a chirpy "hello!" to the next customer! It makes me seriously happy!

Like, two weeks ago, I went to Galway with my three closest friends (that I go to school with). We went shopping and saw a film. We decided to get ice-cream in a cornershop on the way back to the bus station. The shop attendant was only a couple years older than ourselves, I'm guessing maybe late-teens to early twenties. I was the last of my friends to pay, so I justed did my usual "Hello! How are you?" & she literally looked up from the till, shocked.

"I'm fine, thank you very much for asking! You?"

She said it was nice to be asked. I figured not many did. They just walked in, payed, walked out.

I loved they way I sort of made her day, in a small way. I'll always remember her reaction and what she said. It fuels me to do it more often & just smile!

So make someone smile today and just say "Hello! How are you?" Doesn't matter who they are or if you even know them. You more than likely may never see them again, or, possibly, you may get a new friend out of it. I do it for the sheer happiness of seeing the smile on their face. :)

Hmm...

I feel strange.
It's weird. I feel neither happy nor sad. Sort of blank.
I could suddenly get annoyed one minute and literally burst into song the next! O.e Then I'll just feel sort of empty... Gosh, I'm such a freak! Haha :P

My Day :)

After this mornings Skype call, my day went vaguely back to its normal routine.
Get dressed. Go upstairs. Clean the B&B bedrooms with Mam/Dad. Hoover said rooms. Eat lunch. Breath for a bit. Fold sheets & towels. Breath some more... I'm currently breathing some more.

Earlier, my younger sister mentioned that Avengers Assemble was on at 2pm in the small theatre in town. I thought we could go into town on the bus and the two of us could watch it. Her twin brother is going to see it today as well, with the school soccer team (they're heading up to Dublin to the All Ireland FAI final for the primary school teams. The movie is a little treat! I hope he wins tomorrow!). However, the bus times are shite. There was only three times the bus was going by the end of our road and they were either too early or way too late! The joy of relying on public transport in the middle of a rural area! So, I said we could stream  the film online or something after dinner. It'll be nice. :)

Tony Stark/Iron Man is my favourite character of all the Avengers!

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is just freakin' HOT!!!

So, yeah, that's it really! I'm munching down some Swedish orange chocolate my friend brought me when she was over, at the moment. I'm trying not to eat it all, but it's difficult! Haha! :D

Yum, yum, yum!

We're good! We'll be fine!

We talked over Skype for like 40mins... We're fine! We're A-okay! I don't remember every single word, but she will tell me what's wrong next time, even if she has to forward a link to her newest post! I'm happy. I feel a little strange, I don't know how to explain it, but I feel as if I didn't stay up half the night crying, that nothing has been wrong... It's strange, but good. I'm happy. We're happy. I love my best friend! <3