Regular-ish Readers...?! XD

Hey! ^_^

I've been looking at my stats lately & I was wondering does anyone read my blog regularly or much at all...? I know I'm not a huge blogger & nor am I overly exciting in what I've to say, but does anyone actually like reading all this?
What's your reasons? Do you have a blog of your own? Would you like to do a link exchange?

Comment & tell me!





Goodnight! :P



What Do Ya Think?

Well, what do you think of my blog layout & design?

Any time I got on the laptop today has going towards the page's makeover! I'm still in the process of editing photos on GIMP, for the title photo. I found some great photos taken by my friend, but they are too small... I'll see what happens for tomorrow!

So, what do ye think otherwise? Easier to read? Nicer design? Should I change anything else? Just comment :)

Gotta Get Into The Habit!

Hey!

I've been back from the Gaeltacht over a week now - maybe two? - & I've been seriously meaning to post, but I just haven't! That's something I have to fix! I'll have to get into the habit of posting everyday again!

Anyway, I had so much freaking fun at the Gaeltacht! Of course it wasn't perfect - there was trouble with the class role, so I got moved to a shite class & the principal wouldn't move me back. However, I met some awesome people that I'll never forget & I hope I can meet up with again.

Abby was my best friend on the course!

I'm hoping Mam & Dad will let me go back next summer. It'd be my last chance to go, as I'll be doing the Leaving Cert (my final exams) the following year.

Now....

PHOTOS!!!

Recommendations....?

Just looking for interesting blogs to read!

Anyone know any?

Or maybe just you're own...?

Take a look at the blogs I read

(Please look to your right)

Check them out!

Oh & if you have a my blog link on your one, let me know so I can feature you on my list.

It's only fair!

My Day :)

After this mornings Skype call, my day went vaguely back to its normal routine.
Get dressed. Go upstairs. Clean the B&B bedrooms with Mam/Dad. Hoover said rooms. Eat lunch. Breath for a bit. Fold sheets & towels. Breath some more... I'm currently breathing some more.

Earlier, my younger sister mentioned that Avengers Assemble was on at 2pm in the small theatre in town. I thought we could go into town on the bus and the two of us could watch it. Her twin brother is going to see it today as well, with the school soccer team (they're heading up to Dublin to the All Ireland FAI final for the primary school teams. The movie is a little treat! I hope he wins tomorrow!). However, the bus times are shite. There was only three times the bus was going by the end of our road and they were either too early or way too late! The joy of relying on public transport in the middle of a rural area! So, I said we could stream  the film online or something after dinner. It'll be nice. :)

Tony Stark/Iron Man is my favourite character of all the Avengers!

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is just freakin' HOT!!!

So, yeah, that's it really! I'm munching down some Swedish orange chocolate my friend brought me when she was over, at the moment. I'm trying not to eat it all, but it's difficult! Haha! :D

Yum, yum, yum!

Feeling... Blank....

I don't know what I feel... I don't know if I'm angry or just plain upset... Furious or devistated... I mailed her over Facebook that we really need to talk, that I've never been so serious in my life! I haven't told her that I've read her blog yet. I'll only tell her that when I'm sure she will reply right away. I don't think I can stand much more of a delay of a few minutes. The agony of just waiting for her to get online is horrible... Plus I don't want to take the day with her from her dad. He may see her more than I do, but it'd be unfair, wouldn't it? But the day was meant to be spent with me &, it seems, she may have asked to be picked up earlier now, instead of talking out our problems... I just don't know... This blogging thing does help though - I now understand that - but she still has to talk to me, right? She can't just leave me in the dark! I have never left her side (figuritively) when she told me she had anorexia, she cut herself or even when she told me, on Friday, that she had tried to commit suicide! Why would I suddenly be jealous & cruel towards her? Maybe it's the anorexia, or "Ana", talking, but it seriously hurts all the same. I have had many problems as well, since she's left, but I try to tell her, some I haven't managed to form into words for her yet, so am I just as bad? No... I don't think so... It's out relationship that's got the brunt of whatever is wrong with her now - I have. I stayed up until 4am last night after posting my three blogs, crying... I couldn't stop... Someone just help me... Please!!! <3

Welcome, I guess...

This is my amazing first blog...! Spectacular, eh? I don't know what exactly what to write... Possibly an explanation as to why I'm actually going to try and blog, maybe? Here it goes...


Well, my best friend blogs daily. She possibly posts two or three blogs a day. It helps her get on in life, helps her survive the day and inspire others. I say inspire others as she is recovering for anorexia. She tells them how her days go; how she manages; how she gains strength.
She now lives in a separate country to me as the faculties here weren't helping her as she was having treatment. So this weekend was the second time I  met her face-to-face in two years. I was obviously over joyed and I had so much to tell her ( there's only so  much you can say over Skype), but I must have said something wrong - I upset her. However, she never told me - she blogged about it. She vented. I found out only by whim.
I walked home after her dad picked her up today... I was upset, crying. I was meant to have another day with her, but her dad came to pick her up - he needed to spend time with her too, before she left on Wednesday. I felt selfish, but I needed her. She's the only person I can ever tell everything to. The only person I can trust 100%. I don't feel that with any of my other friends. I just can't be me.
So, I grabbed my laptop as soon as I could & searched for her blog. I had never read it before, however, she had mentioned it throughout the years. I don't know why I hadn't. She had told me I could, but I just hadn't. She knew I hadn't. But, right at that moment, I wanted to be closer to her. I couldn't - can't - stand the thought of possibly not seeing her until next year, so I searched for the closest thing I could get to - her blog! She had showed me a Vlog (video-blog) yesterday or Friday, so I planned to watch it once more.
However, I got closer to her than I thought I would. The first blog had been from this morning about how she felt emotionless and like a bitch when she told me she was leaving today & I had started crying, but she didn't. I totally disagreed with this blog. I'm a blubbering baby - she needn't to feel that bad. She has never been a bitch to me. I was going to comment on the blog, but didn't. I don't know why. I just kept reading. I now wish I hadn't.
I've been proud of her progress & how well she's recovered  - she's near her goal weight, though struggling with the last few kilograms. However, the way I went about showing I was proud, obviously didn't show. I don't recall mentioning food & how she ate very often, but it obviously struck a cord with her. She said it hurt in one of her blogs. She felt that I must have been jealous of her figure or weight or something and I was trying to hurt her... I cried when I read it & I'm crying now just thinking about it. I never ever went out of my way to hurt her... If she just told me, I wouldn't have mentioned food at all! I wouldn't have said how pretty her figure is! We are completely different body shapes - She's tall and slim with slight build, while I'm short-ish with slightly broad shoulders, but I'm not fat nor super skinny. I'm slim too. I'm happy with the way I am & I've said it to her before - all I need to do is tighten up my muscles, not lose weight...  So, how could she see I that I was jealous? I can't understand! Or why she wouldn't just tell me... I understand she will be obviously insecure about certain things, but I need to be told what and when, not just her blog readers.


It really hurts and I can't really stop crying since. I can't stand the way I've hurt her, the fact that my best friend couldn't even tell me how she felt, hurts even more. So I plan to tell her how I feel tomorrow, or at least sometime soon. I need to control myself first, so, ironically, I turn to blogging to help me cope. It helps her, so it can help me. That is why I have started this blog. It does help - I'm not really crying as much - but it doesn't solve the problem. There has to be proper communication for this to be sorted. So I will try to Skype her or at least message her first. I don't know if I'll even tell her about my own blog either... I'll think about it, along with everything else.


If you've actually read all this - well done! I'm virtually patting you on the back! Most people would give up halfway... Thanks for not doing so... <3
Comment if you have any advice or if you were even just courageous enough  to read all this!


<3