Standing up for yourself can be one of the most terrifying, yet brave things you can do.
I can recall one time that I truly stood up for myself.
It must be a year ago now. We were in the locker room in school. I was sitting on the floor with my friends, while she & a few of our mutual friends were getting books for the morning classes. I was telling the girls I would do it.
I called her name. She turned to look at me, a fake smile plastered across her face. I'm sure mine looked similar, though, my whole body shook with nerves & fear.
I told her I had heard what she had said about me. I watched, satisfied, as the corners of her mouth dropped. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
"The walls have ears y'know."
I loved watching her squirm! I had imagined the whole thing out the night before. All the different scenarios. Never did I think that I would actually make her feel so uncomfortable.
She kept denying it. However, I knew she had being commenting about how it looked as if I had a moustache. One of our mutual friends had told me, J. So, I told her if she ever did have something on her chest & wanted to tell me, I was all ears.
She repeated that she didn't say anything. She was getting agitated, banging her locker.
"Relax," is what I had said, earning a death glare. I remember a smirk curling the corners of my mouth. The shake in my voice was long gone. "I'm just saying, if you do, come talk to me. We're friends, aren't we?" My voice was thick with sarcasm.
She had her back to me, opening her locker again.
"Look at me. If you're not lying, you can at least look me in the eyes and say it."
She never did look me in the eyes, though she did storm out of the room. I recall words being passed between us just before she left, but I can't remember what was said. I do remember the sheer joy, as she left the room.
I had stood up for myself!
I remember J & R laughing, saying that it was the best thing ever. They loved seeing how she got caught out. D had asked for an explanation, as she hadn't heard what had been said the day before.
I was still shaking. I had stood up to talk to her, so, leaning against the wall, I slid to the ground. Utter relief passed through me. It was one of the best feelings I have ever had! I couldn't believe I had done it, but I had & I was so damn proud of myself.
It must be a year ago now. We were in the locker room in school. I was sitting on the floor with my friends, while she & a few of our mutual friends were getting books for the morning classes. I was telling the girls I would do it.
I called her name. She turned to look at me, a fake smile plastered across her face. I'm sure mine looked similar, though, my whole body shook with nerves & fear.
I told her I had heard what she had said about me. I watched, satisfied, as the corners of her mouth dropped. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
"The walls have ears y'know."
I loved watching her squirm! I had imagined the whole thing out the night before. All the different scenarios. Never did I think that I would actually make her feel so uncomfortable.
She kept denying it. However, I knew she had being commenting about how it looked as if I had a moustache. One of our mutual friends had told me, J. So, I told her if she ever did have something on her chest & wanted to tell me, I was all ears.
She repeated that she didn't say anything. She was getting agitated, banging her locker.
"Relax," is what I had said, earning a death glare. I remember a smirk curling the corners of my mouth. The shake in my voice was long gone. "I'm just saying, if you do, come talk to me. We're friends, aren't we?" My voice was thick with sarcasm.
She had her back to me, opening her locker again.
"Look at me. If you're not lying, you can at least look me in the eyes and say it."
She never did look me in the eyes, though she did storm out of the room. I recall words being passed between us just before she left, but I can't remember what was said. I do remember the sheer joy, as she left the room.
I had stood up for myself!
I remember J & R laughing, saying that it was the best thing ever. They loved seeing how she got caught out. D had asked for an explanation, as she hadn't heard what had been said the day before.
I was still shaking. I had stood up to talk to her, so, leaning against the wall, I slid to the ground. Utter relief passed through me. It was one of the best feelings I have ever had! I couldn't believe I had done it, but I had & I was so damn proud of myself.
So, stand up for yourself.
Fight back with words!
Think ahead, use your brain!
Your nerves & fears will subside as you watch them struggle.
Don't let them push you around anymore!
<3
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