Job Offer! :D

FINALLY, after searching for a job since February, I've gotten a job offer for part-time in a local cafe.
I'm so freakin' happy! I had originally hoped for a summer job & had given up once school had started. However, I swear someone is looking out for me up there. The popular cafe in town had notices put up around the school for a "weekend job, suitable for students 16 & over". My friends & I ripped down all the notices, so no one else would even dare to ask for the job, if others already had. We weren't exactly playing fair, but it's too late now! Haha! XD
I had gone in last Wednesday, before rugby training, & handed in my CV, trying to not act all weird - sort of hard since "weird" comes au natural to me! I must have succeeded though as I just received an email from one of the owners. She wants to know would I be interested in working, starting around the mid-term break in October... WOO!!!!
The only problem I have now is whether I'll be here at home or not, then. My parents plan to go up to see my extended family, up where they're from. I sort of want to go too...
Scrap all that! Dad just came into my room. He said we won't be going up if I want to work... I feel sort of guilty that they're going to change the family plans just for me. We haven't seen any of my nannies, aunties, uncles or cousins in months! I'm happy at the same time too, though. Hopefully I won't work the bank holiday weekend & we can still visit my family.
We'll see how things work out, but, firstly, I'll have email the cafe to say I'd feckin' love to work for them!!!
Well, in a more mannerly way, of course! :P haha!
I just hope now that I can keep up with the pressure of school on top of the job... I'll find out, I guess!

Anyway, goodnight! <3

The Weekend!

Finally, time to breathe & relax!

I Am Sooooo Trying This! XD

Update On My Boyfriend & I

I posted a few days ago about himself & I was pretty pissed off. I read yer comments & thank you for your support & advice.

We talked things out & he's trying to work harder. He knows he needs extra help with English soon & I know I need to learn to breathe & relax too!

So, the basic gist of things is that everything is alright again. Things have been going well the last few days & will hopefully continue that way!

Just letting ye know! :)

Gathering Support Group Info!

I'm trying to make a page for bullying support groups/websites that people can turn to in a time of need. These are places for people that just want to talk & let their feelings out or get help to deal with the situation that they're in.
So far, I've only really managed to find one that I like so far (I'm trying them out myself before I put then up,). It's hard to find time to check them all.
However, if you know any support groups/websites for bullying or even for anyone BGLT or whatever, that would be great! Especially as it wouldn't feel right for me to bust into their support groups, since I don't happen to fall into the BGLT category. It'd be sort of intruding on people that do, I feel, especially in a support group or site... Okay, I'm rambling, sorry!
The basic gist of things are that I'm hoping that anyone that knows ANY good support websites or group for ANYthing, please comment on this post! I've a good insight for bullying groups, as I've been bullied myself. Otherwise, I'd appreciate the help from you, as I wouldn't know what would be good for people in situations I've never been in myself. Y'know?

So, comment below to help! Thank yoooooooou! :)

Human Facts

Random Sheep O.e

Woke up this morning to find that a lamb had gotten into our garden. O.e
We've no idea how he managed to get into it, as there's no openings at all, except the gate to the house, but we've a cattle guard, so he wouldn't have made it across. It's so random!

World Preventing Suicide Day!

Today is World Preventing Suicide Day. Write "love" on your wrist or wear something yellow to show your support for anyone that has, or is having, thoughts of, attempted, or succeeded in ending their life. <3

Help spread the word!

Pissed Off Rant At My Boyfriend!!!

I'm so pissed off right now at my boyfriend! It's like he has no motivation sometimes. I know he has difficulty with school as English isn't his first language, but he isn't that terrible at all. I mean, there's not much he doesn't understand.
He wanted to get extra help with English, which I thought was great, so he asked the career guidance teacher. She was the worst person to ask. She told him that the teachers were basically too busy to help him (he doesn't learn Irish, by the way, so he has spare classes where he could learn English). This excuse was crazy in my opinion, as he received extra help before, but the teacher forgot a couple of times & just stopped the lessons. I told my boyfriend to ask our year head for the extra classes. He forgot to & isn't bothered, it seems.he says that it'll be alright.
It so totally won't be - excuse my language - fucking alright if I've to explain simple words like "statement" where, in the context of the sentence, have very obvious meaning ("Do you agree with the above statement?").
Then, after that, explain how to answer the question. This is even more insanely annoying as our teacher had explained what to do in class. We had also been working on this topic since we started back at school!
This is just so stupid. He knows, or should, at least, know about it all after two weeks. It is far from rocket science & I swear he had a brain last time I checked. It's like he just doesn't listen in class. I'm the one that absolutely hates the class & teacher, but I still listen & try my best!
I want to do well & get the points I need from the end exam from this subject. He'll need points too, as he won't be able to do honours level (you get more points if you do this level) for a few subjects due to the fact that he hasn't the best of English. However, it's as if he doesn't try; he doesn't want to do well.
It pisses me off so much, because that's all I ever do - try! I want to do the best I can; I want my education to help me get somewhere in life. Then, he just doesn't care.
I spent a good bit of time explaining the one question we had in Geography to him today, while I could've been doing my own homework & study. I repeated the same basic thing over & over again, explaining what to do & then he would repeatedly ask the same question about something I had explained.
I wanted to scream at him - that's how pissed off I got. I know I've a short temper, at times, but he always pushes me over the edge with this sort of stuff. I swear to God, he is going to get extra English classes, even if I have to organise them myself. I don't care if he doesn't want the classes anymore, I won't be able to stand much more of this. He needs them & I'm not patient enough to go through everything with him, nor do I want to lose time on what could be spent on study, to help myself.
Yes, I know I sound selfish, but to be honest, I tell him he should do certain things to help himself at school & he rarely ever listens. He's incredible intelligent at maths, however he is in ordinary level maths. He could do honours level easily. I do it myself! I told him & he said no, because he would have to study more for the subject... You get 25 extra bonus points if you just simply pass honours maths! That means by getting a D3 in Honours level is more or the same as an A1 in ordinary. Like, what the hell? A bit of study is no harm! It'll be good in the long run.
Ugh! He has zero motivation! It pisses me off so bloody much!!!

Some People Should Learn To Use Their Heads!

Phew...!

Everything is just go, go, go lately, hasn't it?

Between school, homework & trying to help Mam, things are jut so hectic. It's hard to find a minutes peace within the short, jammed-busy days. But that's what the weekend is for, right? Though, I swear my teachers are aiming to fill my only free time with homework too. They shall not succeed!

   Next Friday evening I'm going to be babysitting my neighbours kids. He's, I'd say, seven now & she's two. Two of the most adorable children ever! They are seriously smart kids too. I love them! The seven year old & I always end up talking about superheroes for ages. I'm thinking of downloading some cartoon film of superman or something & bring my laptop over & we can watch it together or something. I think she, the two year old, would be put in bed before their parents leave.

   Anyway, I'm pretty happy my neighbour texted looking for me to babysit. Other than the fact that I actually like playing with her kids & minding them, it also means a bit of cash. I'm estimating €30 - €50. It'll be  going mainly towards our holiday to Colorado this Christmas, as I've gotten enough for my camera already. I'm waiting for the Black Friday sales first, though, before I purchase my Nikon baby!

   So, I've been busy, busy; working & saving money. Now, it's time to relax & just to do what Shauna wants for a few hours during the weekend. :) It'll prepare me for the coming week; help reduce any unneeded stress.

It'll be some downtime - exactly what I need!

Feeling Good!!! :D

I'd a grand ole day today, though I was loaded up with homework by the end of it. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, once I start getting some actually hard maths questions & proper English homework. Then add Geography & study & you'll be sure that I'll never leave my room until the next morning for school once again!
However, my day was pretty good apart from the homework. Little bits of the day just made me smile. For instances, in maths, I was one of only three people to get a maths question right! I felt so cocky! Haha! XD Yesterday, I was the only one to have 4 particular questions done. I was pretty happy with myself then too as Ms. K was totally pissed with the rest of the class as she had "pre marked those questions" & assumed everyone would have done them for some unknown reason! I'd just had them done by chance! LOL! Anyway, it's made my last two days in that class. I've had little moments like that throughout today.
Tomorrow is Friday. I can't wait! I'll actually get time to turn my laptop on,, for a change. I've been using the blogspot app on my iPod the last few days. It's alright, it gets the basic job done, but I miss my italic & bold lettering, along with being able to change the alignment of the text... Plus I can't choose where the photos go in the post using the app either. They just automatically go to the end. So, basically, I miss using my laptop! :)

Anyway, I'm off to bed now! Talk to you soon.

Goodnight <3

Contemplating...

At this very moment, I'm laying in bed, contemplating whether I should actually go to school or not. I'm just so damn exhausted!
Even after going to bed earlier than normal, I've slept less than I have in weeks. At 1am, I woke up with the most horrible stomach cramp ever! Ugh! :/ I ended up having to get a hot water bottle & unable to sleep for at least an hour & a half afterwards.
This is a FML moment for sure! >.<

Finally!

Finally an evening that's basically my own! I could actually take my time on my homework & not rush, hoping to finish everything. Nope! Today, I took my time & still had time to read a bit, before having a nice long shower.
It felt so good just to take my time. I was able to be easily distracted by images of detailed paintings of fairies & not have to worry will I have enough time to do maths homework or the likes.
Hopefully I'll have more evenings like this. I'll get seriously stressed out otherwise, if I don't! I become such a bitch when I'm stressed out. I'm hardly ever nice without strain when I'm under pressure. I almost lost a friend last school year due to stress! That is -not- happening again this year, if I can get my way.
Well, I think I'm going to go to sleep early tonight. I know for a fact I'm going to have a ton of homework tomorrow, all due the following day... There is like zero leeway on my timetable for that sort of stuff! >.< It's a bit annoying! Anyway, I'm going to head to bed now. :)

Goodnight <3

Woo!

Hardly any homework! Woo! :D

Well, sorta! I managed to finish majority of it in a free class & a study class today. I've just to finish Geography, do some French, study a bit & then work on my art project! Not too bad all considering. I should have time later for a proper post. :)

My Pen Keeps Rolling Off My Desk...

Ugh! :/

I just want time to sit down & do what I want to do! I want to relax & just breathe...

I hate fucking Geography.
Actually, to be honest, I've found I rather like the subject, just despise the teacher! Who the hell gives 9 pages of a workbook to be done for the following day? Then not even correct them?! Ugh! :/ this is going to be a long hard year... I hate it already :/

An Inspiration - Andrew De Leon

He said he always felt like an outsider as a child.

Andrew De Leon is a truly inspirational guy. He came out and astonished everyone during his audition on America's Got Talent. What was just as shocking as his preformance was that the lad had never sang in front of anyone before, not even his own parents, nor had he even had any sort of coaching.

Check his audition out!

Anything about Andrew may be old news (Hey! I live in Ireland, not the USA, where the tv program is aired) to many of you. However, after just recently learning of him, I can't help but feel inspired by the guy.

   He shows us that it doesn't matter who you are or how you look like, go for your dreams in life. The guy said as a kid he felt like an outsider & never allowed anyone to hear his talent before this moment, but he didn't let that stop him. He took a deep breath through his nerves & sang anyway.

   Andrew brought tears to people's eyes & the judges to their feet. He is an inspiration to follow your dreams, no matter what. 

   I hope, some where in the near future, we'll hear of him again &  that he never changes :)

Relaxing :)

Today, I just took it easy.

I was so feckin' tired yesterday after just two days of school, I couldn't even get myself to turn on the laptop! So, today, I decided to take things easy. After a nice hot shower to wake me up, this morning, I helped clear the guest rooms upstairs &, then, finished the homework I had started yesterday evening.

   I must say, I'm rather proud of my Geography homework! Haha! All I had to do was copy down a diagram & some key terms on the Earth's internal, like the mantle & the core. Easy stuff, but I decided I was totally going to colour in my diagram & outline it in a black felt-tip pen. I'm half hoping I'll impress my teacher, but, also, keep myself interested! If I haven't said it before, I strongly dislike Geography & especially the teacher I have, Mr. C.

   Mr. C is well known for being the funny teacher & he can be. I even find him funny! However, the guy can't teach very well. He obviously knows his stuff, but he can waste a class by literally staring blankly out the window. Then the other half of the time he gets so easily distracted & banters about stupid stuff with the lads. I had him for the previous four years & he only once actually corrected our homework & copies. I'm 100% serious. I had hoped I'd never have to do Geography again, especially with him, but the new timetable obviously didn't go my way.

   So, I'm determined to study hard & to try & keep myself interested, because he sure won't. That's for sure.

   Anyway, after my homework, I watched a documentaries on YouTube. I seriously recommend the Extraordinary People documentaries. I watched The Girl with a New Face (I think that was the name anyway) & The Boy Who See Without Eyes. Both extremely good.

   Ben Underwood, the boy that sees without eyes, had his eyes removed just before he turned three years old, to stop the spread of cancer. However, I had found, just after watching the documentary that he had died of a brain tumour, just before his 17th birthday in 2009. I felt like crying. He was such an amazing lad, learning to "see" using echolocation from the clicking sounds he used to make. 

May Ben Underwood Rest In Peace.

Check out

Extraordinary People: The Boy Who Sees Without Eyes (Part 1/5)

Extraordinary People: The Girl With a New Face (Part 1/4)

Check 'em out!

The Events of Today!

Overall, school was alright today. I was happy to see my friends & talk to them & the likes, but, like I had thought I would, I'm going to have to do Geography... I hate the teacher we have. I had him for four years & was more talk rather than action. I'm seriously going to have to study to insure I can do the best I possibly can! I want to get at least a B2 (a B grade in US terms, I think), in Honours Level. So, there's to be no messing the next two years!
   Also, Art & Design Communication Graphics are scheduled to be on at the same time, so I had to pick one of the other. I decided on Art, as it's required to do, to get into the college course I want to do. However, DCG is also looked highly upon, as well, as the subject is basically based on the idea of Graphic Design & Visual Communications, so I'm pissed that I couldn't do that. I even asked the Career Guidance Councillor whether I could do it outside school, or at least another way & she said it was not recommended at all. Plus I would need to be supervised by a teacher when doing the project section of the exam, over a number of weeks & I wouldn't have that at home!
   When we arrived at school, it was found that all our lockers had been cleared out & rearranged. We were to pay €10 for a new locker! This was totally new. Originally we payed €5 the very first day in First Year, when we start secondary school & then have that locker for the next six years. We thought that was great. Cheap & easy! However, now, that won't be the case we'll have to pay €10 every year & be assigned new lockers. A heads up would have been nice! I mean, back in May, before we left for the summer. That way we would have had our lockers cleared out, instead of looking for our books today, throughout the school! Some of us were lucky, like myself, where all of our books where put in plastic bags with our names on them, or, piled up neatly. However, some weren't as lucky. I know some people have important books missing & others can't find any of their stuff at all! So much for thinking that your schoolbooks were safer left in your locker!
   One good thing today was that I did get three of the four subjects that I wanted, Art, Physics & French. Even better is that I just may have the best French teacher in the school! I really hope so. She's an excellent teacher. Plus, she's so bloody sound!

Also, today, I got a job offer from Supervalu, the local supermarket. Typical since summer is now over! I was really happy though, but then I found out that it would be 3/4 days a week, one day possibly being on the weekend, while the others would be after school, 5 - 9pm. This means I could have serious problems with trying to study & get homework done... Ugh! So, after talking with some of my friends & Mam & Dad, I'm going to call the manager back tomorrow & tell her the problem, but also mention that I'd be willing to work Friday evenings, weekends & school holidays. So, hopefully, that'll help me out somewhat & I'll see what she says.

Well, that's it for today!

Goodnight <3

School Tomorrow...

Honestly, I don't really want to go back. I'd prefer to stay here, at home helping Mam, just like I have for most of the summer. All I want to do at school tomorrow is to see my friends & then go home. I don't even want to see my timetable, because I already know I can't do one of the subject I wanted to do. I also know, because of that, I'll have to do some subject that I'll hate. I have a strong feeling it'll be Geography, possibly Chemistry.
   The only things I'm looking forward to this year are going to school with my younger brother & sister again & doing Art, which it looks like I'll still be able to do this year. Otherwise, it's going to be a shit load of work, study & stress. All preparation for next school year.
   I can guarantee you that my year head & principal will both be like "The Leaving Cert starts now. Not next year," during the assembly. Then go on to talk about studying & the likes. I more than likely hear that over & over again in almost all my classes, just to make sure we heard it the first 2 times!
   I also don't want to see any of those damn eejits, that I blissfully avoided basically all summer!
   Ugh...
   I just really don't want to go... But I've to suck it up, right? I've no choice, in all honesty. Not if I want to do Visual Communications or anything like that. If there was only a way... >_<

Well, I should seriously get to sleep now.

I'm going to be exhausted in the morning!

Blah...

Goodnight <3

Stand Up For Yourself, Because...

 

The Truth

Waiting Impatiently!!!

I am currently waiting, very impatiently, for my brother & sister to come back from their first day in secondary school. 

Why can't they let them out early on the first day? Don't they realise there are older siblings in need of knowing how things went?! Teachers & principals should know this sort of thing!

   Today, only first year, the youngest year group attends school. It's to help settle in all the new students & to show & explain to them their new timetable, among other things. So, the twins start today & I'll be going back to school on Thursday.

   This will be the first time, in four years, that we will all go to school together. It's going to be so strange! It's going to take some time getting used to.

They really should be home by now! >_>

I want to know what they think of everything! How the teachers were; what subjects they got; which teachers they have; which group they're in; who's in their group - EVERYTHING!!!!

I think I hear the bus!

Yay!

Little Quotes I Love on Happiness

The Howling Wind

There's a wild & ragged Wind raging outside my house. I hear him howling outside my window.
   He reminds me of how summer has basically ended & that autumn is only days away. He's trying to shout to me to wrap up well for the coming months; that winter will be cold this year.
   The Wind is telling me that I better stay in doors & learn to study this year for school. Otherwise, He'll send me flying back inside with one powerful gust. I hear the flap, in which the post comes in, in the front door, banging as he shows his strength.
   He rages outside, finally free for the cool months of autumn & winter. He's ready to fly kites & play with light 5 year olds, their jackets held high above their heads, like sails.
   Yet, he will often be destructive over the coming months, tearing down branches & throwing around kids toys, left outside in the cold winter's nights. In the mornings, people will pickup & straighten deckchairs. Only to be tossed around the next night he maybe furious.
   Strangely, I feel comforted by the howling Wind outside. He's a reminder of Christmas & nights curled up by the fire with my family. He makes me think about how I'll be gone away this year, visiting my aunt & uncle in Colorado.

   He, the Wind, makes me think about late nights, tucked up in bed, just like this one. <3

Just a Short Post! ^_^

Well, today was just one of those days.

There was something always to be done or somewhere to go! I just about managed to get some time to myself, sitting outside at the back of the house.

The sun was glorious! Then it burned me & I wasn't too entirely impressed with it. You think it would realise I didn't have the time to bee putting on sun cream. Jeez!

Also, today, I went into town with mam. While she was dropping the jam into the local supermarket & did a few other small jobs, I got my hair cut!

Tada! :D

That's my news for today, really! I'm just too tired to think of anything else to say. So, I think I'm going to sleep now. My parents are back now (I was minding my brother & sister, as well as the B&B) from their meal out, so I can now hit the sack!

Goodnight all! <3

Stand Up For Yourself!

Standing up for yourself can be one of the most terrifying, yet brave things you can do.

I can recall one time that I truly stood up for myself.
   It must be a year ago now. We were in the locker room in school. I was sitting on the floor with my friends, while she & a few of our mutual friends were getting books for the morning classes. I was telling the girls I would do it.
    I called her name. She turned to look at me, a fake smile plastered across her face. I'm sure mine looked similar, though, my whole body shook with nerves & fear.
   I told her I had heard what she had said about me. I watched, satisfied, as the corners of her mouth dropped. She acted as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
   "The walls have ears y'know."
   I loved watching her squirm! I had imagined the whole thing out the night before. All the different scenarios. Never did I think that I would actually make her feel so uncomfortable.
   She kept denying it. However, I knew she had being commenting about how it looked as if I had a moustache. One of our mutual friends had told me, J. So, I told her if she ever did have something on her chest & wanted to tell me, I was all ears.
   She repeated that she didn't say anything. She was getting agitated, banging her locker.
   "Relax," is what I had said, earning a death glare. I remember a smirk curling the corners of my mouth. The shake in my voice was long gone. "I'm just saying, if you do, come talk to me. We're friends, aren't we?" My voice was thick with sarcasm.
   She had her back to me, opening her locker again.
   "Look at me. If you're not lying, you can at least look me in the eyes and say it."
   She never did look me in the eyes, though she did storm out of the room. I recall words being passed between us just before she left, but I can't remember what was said. I do remember the sheer joy, as she left the room.
   I had stood up for myself!
   I remember J & R laughing, saying that it was the best thing ever. They loved seeing how she got caught out. D had asked for an explanation, as she hadn't heard what had been said the day before.
   I was still shaking. I had stood up to talk to her, so, leaning against the wall, I slid to the ground. Utter relief passed through me.  It was one of the best feelings I have ever had! I couldn't believe I had done it, but I had & I was so damn proud of myself.

So, stand up for yourself.

Fight back with words!

Think ahead, use your brain!

Your nerves & fears will subside as you watch them struggle.

Don't let them push you around anymore!

<3

Haircut?

I think I just may need a haircut.

O.e

I have some viability problems! :O

Made My Day!!!

I usually hate when people call me cute & adorable.

It makes me think people think that I'm really childish looking or even mentally.

Usually due to the context.

 

However, yesterday, I showed two very good looking French lads to the twin room. I totally wanted to giggle & just stare up (they were freakin' TALL) at their manly beauty, but I kept my cool & told them everything that we usually tell the new guests.

So proud of myself for not making a fool of myself!

One of them even said "We'll see you in the morning, yeah?"

Both had huge smiles plastered across their faces.

 

Am I reading into this too much?

I think so too... But I won't tell myself that! XD

 

So, I served them breakfast & they were totally gorgeous & sweet.

Then, after, they were paying mam the bill in the lounge.

I so wanted to go in, but I decided to wait until I heard them leaving...

BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!!

They left without me hearing :/

So feckin' annoyed!!!

 

Mam later told me that they had mentioned me, on their own accord, saying how I was so nice & I did very well helping them & serving breakfast to them (not everyone mentions me at all!).

So, I thought this was sweet & I was super happy & even more annoyed that I missed saying goodbye.

I was especially annoyed when Mam said they were looking in at me in the dinning room (there's a glass panes in the double doors), like they wanted me to look, or say goodbye. Meantime, I was trying not to look out, staring at their beauty! -_-

Last time I'll ever try not be rude staring!

 

I went upstairs to clean the rooms after everyone had left.

We have a comment book upstairs & some guests write in it, some don't.

I noticed that there were a few new comments, so I read them.

The last one was from the French lads.

They thanked us for our hospitality & said everything was beautiful.

All good stuff!

BUT!!!

The last line made my day.

 

"The daughter is adorable too."

 

I don't give a crap about what I usually get with that word, but I'm feckin' happy with today! XD

These lads turned out to be two engineers, in their mid to early twenties, from Paris.

They were both well over 6ft & 100% manly beauty.

I ain't complaining! Haha! XD

 

Woo!



Listening to the Lyrics

I'm sitting here listening to Eminem's album The Slim Shady LP.

 

I love his lyrics. There's only a few rappers that I actually like.
The main reasons I love Eminem is that:

1) I can actually understand what he says when he's rapping.
2) His lyrics tell a story. They aren't some pointless commercial music. He has real feelings in the lyrics.

I love songs that actually tell a story. They inspire me to write, giving me ideas for a novel. Florence & The Machine are brilliant for that sort of inspiration. I think so, anyway! Her voice & the music adds to the lyrics. It's beautiful!

I wonder a lot Do most great lyrical songs results of events of the witer's life? It would explain the raw emotion in some.
Take Adele, for example. She broke up with a lad & wrote a whole, amazing, album about it.
Ryan Shaughnessy caught the attention of millions across Ireland & the UK with his song No Name. A song about a girl he had fallen for. It just shows that music communicates better with the listener when real thought & feelings are put into the lyrics & music.

Does anyone else just listen to the lyrics & actually think about what they say or mean?

So Tired!

This is only a quick post to say sorry that I can't really write much!

Today has been so hectic! It's as if there's no end to all the work! Seriously crazy today!

I'm just going to hit the pillow now. I can barely keep my eyes open!

 

Goodnight! <3

Just Talk

I talked to mam today about school & how I was worried about what subjects I'll get, since the two main ones I want, & sort of need, will be against each other on the timetable this year.
I mentioned how I was sort of afraid if people will say stuff to me again this year. Like, there's no reason in my mind to say anything rude/stupid/ignorant towards me, except people still do. Maybe it's the reaction I give back amuses them.
Or, in most cases, I think, they are completely idiotic in my year group.

Last year, apparently, because I had mentioned to the principal about how I would like to study Visual Communications in third level & that Art is a required subject for this course, while Design Communication Graphics (DCG) is highly recommended, I had changed the timetable for the coming year. A large number of my fellow students somehow come to this conclusion as the principal gave out another draft of the timetable - I repeat DRAFT!!! - that suited me better than the first one given out. I'm one student out of roughly 79. How am I suppose to change a whole timetable?! It actually suited a lot of my friends better too. However, because I had talked to the principal & people disagreed with the timetable, they threw temper tantrums & blamed me, even though the principal said it was still subject to change & the real timetable would possibly be a mix of the two drafts together. Sometimes I think I go to school with a bunch of imbeciles because of this.

Also, after all that, I got a letter last week giving out a more final timetable, very similar to the first, so they've no reason to blame me for anything now.

So, anyway, I told mam about everything I was worrying about from the subjects I might have to do, to the people that I don't want to meet again this term, among other things.
I felt a lot better after this.

Talking to someone about what's on your mind helps.

Don't let it build up inside.

Don't bottle it up until you overflow with worry, fear or anxiety.

It only causes unneeded stress & anger,

So, talk to someone.

A close friend, family member, teacher, councillor...?

Maybe even on an online support forum or there's something similar to that, but over landline I've heard!

But, the gist is, it helps to get it all off your chest.

So, don't let it build up.

Just talk.

Jesus Is My Mother O.e

I was hoovering upstairs, in one of the guest rooms, this morning.

So, naturally, I couldn't really hear anything over the noise.

The hoover itself was beside the door & I looked down at it for a second.

I can't remember why I did, but I received the biggest fright ever when my mam came in the doorway from nowhere!

I jumped a mile, shouting "Jesus Christ!!!"

Mam just said, "Ah, now! Just call me Mammy. I'm not big into formalities."

I love my mam! XD

Emotional Moment

A little while ago I  read something a friend wrote.

I was one of those questionaire posts that you see everywhere on facebook.

One question asked, simply, who was her best friend & she said it was me, as I've known it to be for the last good few years.

However, I don't know why, but I got all teary & sort of cried.

Like, it was on of those "I feel so touched" cries.

It was sort of strange, but I felt, at that moment, that there will always be someone there for me, someone who doesn't care judge me for what I do or how I look.

I think all the thoughts of going back to school have brought up bad feelings, again.

So, this little thing just brightened up my day a little.

Be Who You Want To Be

If someone ever tries to bring you down, hold your head higher.

Be who you want to be.

Don't let anyone give you crap for it.

People bully others because they're not comfortable in themselves.

They may say it's because you're different,

But, really, they're jealous of the fact that you can be yourself.

So fuck 'em!

Be proud of who you are!

Don't ever change your hair or style because some asshole says something about your appearance!

Don't cry yourself to sleep at night if someone says it's wrong to fall in love with someone of the same gender.

Don't be afraid to say what you think, just because some idiot may make a snide comment.

Laugh in their faces.

Flip them off!

You should have the freedom to be yourself.

So, stand up for yourself,

Because you're the only one that can.

I've Been Bullied. Have You?

School is starting again next week & to be honest I'm not entirely excited about going back.
A lot of people used to be so nice in my school, but I've found that, over the years, many have turned into horrible assholes & bullies.
I've always managed to be picked on from a young age. Sometimes I feel as if there's a florescent sign above my head flashing "Pick On Me!" Once I staarted secondary school, though, I did gain a bit of confidence, but in last year or two, I'd say, things have gotten worse again. I can't say anything some days without some idiot trying to make a smart comment. Often it's easy to laugh it off, but others, I just want to tell them to shut the fuck up!
There have been times I've been hit & kicked by another girl, so I had to learn to hit back. D got me interested in rugby. One day, this same girl wanted to know how to rugby tackle. D told me to show her, so I tackled her to the ground in the middle Biology Lab at lunch. One of the best moments of my life! She tends to be quite nice to me now.

However, not everything is as easy as rugby tackling the bully. You just have to learn to take the shit. Stand your ground. I've had to do this some many times over the years. I usen't to be able. I would start to cry & get upset. I still do, but now I can hold it in better & tell the asshole where to go; how untrue what they say is.

Sometimes, it's not always easy, but I have, as well as you do, the right to be me. To try to live my life as me. I shouldn't need to change myself completely to get someone to stop picking on me.

So, schools starting again next week & I can't wait to see all my friends & all the teachers I love.
I don't give a crap about what they say tome or what they think! I shouldn't & neither should you!

Age Doesn't Affect Their Looks!!!

I was watching interviews from The Ellen Show (you have to check it out, if you've never heard of it. That woman is a legend!!!), when I saw one with the actor, Shemar Moore, from the series Criminal Minds.

I don't know about you, but I find this man, highly attractive!

So, anyway, I was watched about two interviews in which he was on The Ellen Show &, in both interviews, like with most of her guests, Ellen had Shemar play a game with members of the audience. In both cases this man ended up feckin' kissing his fan! There was tongue involved, my friend! Plus, it looks like he's a goddamn amazing kisser too! Such lucky women!

And after all this, his age was mentioned later in one interview... This lad is 42 years age & he's goddamn sexy. His age surprised me! I thought he was maybe in his 30's but not his 40's at all.

This makes me think though... Are all the real hot men in their late 30's & up?

I mean, I've a thing for Antonio Banderas (his voice is so sexy) & I recently found out he just turned 52 this month!





Then, I know a few of my friends that just love Johnny Depp & he's in his 50's as well.

Do all actors age well, or is it just me? Because if some of these guys were single (as well as myself) & I was legal, I'd totally try & make a move! Haha! Gosh! I hope whoever I'm with at that stage of my life ages as well as these lads!

Anyone else know an actor that looks amazing for his age???

It's 2.23 am & I'm Hungry!

I've no idea why, but I've been hungry on & off since dinner.

I mean like literally 5-10 minutes after dinner I was starving again. It's not like I didn't have a big dinner - I ate around the same amount as usual, possibly a bit more!

I resisted eating for about an hour afterwards, to see would the hunger go away, but I didn't. So I treated myself to strawberries in some lovely homemade cool swan (alcohol) whipped cream. Gosh, I love my little sister! It was gorgeous, but I was hungry only minutes afterwards again. I haven't bothered to eat anything since... Well, except for a chocolate bar, but I won't mention that, will I?

The hunger pangs have been on & off since then...

This is getting annoying... It has happened before & I did think it was something to do with my period, but I'm not on it right now... IM mentioned growing & maybe more activity. I know I sure as hell ain't growing any more - forever a shorty - so maybe it's the activity... I'm going to try & keep a close eye on this!

I think I should try & get to sleep now...

I think my stomach is rumbling in agreement! Haha!

Talk to ye tomorrow! ^_^



Laying In Bed

I feel so tired...

I'm laying in bed doing nothing. I had planned to go on a nice long walk with my friend, D, but she hasn't picked her phone up at all. I swear to God it drives me crazy that she never has credit & hardly ever has her phone near her at all! So, I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to go out & talk with someone, get some exercise, but I'm tired as fuck.

Blah...

My legs feel sort of tight from my first jog in yonks, yesterday, so I think I'm going to do more stretches...

Jogging - So Freakin' Proud Of Myself! XD

Well, as the title of the post implies, I went for a jog today! I sort of surprised myself, to be honest. I mean, I have been talking about getting fitter. I started doing sit-ups, & other abdominal exercises & stretches, last week. However, I kind of forgot about those the last two days with my birthday & becoming seriously busy with the B&B.

So, today, the weather was gorgeous & I thought I'm going to go for a jog! It's totally unlike me to think like this at all - I don't even jog. Like, I just jog during rugby training. I don't usually want to go out running, at all!

Because of this, I sort of doubted that I actually would, but went with it anyway & I'm so happy I did! I ran at least three quatres or more of, roughly, 3.5km. Considering that's my first time, I'm damn proud of myself! I felt good listening to my music, trying to push myslef on. Such a great feeling!Hopefully, I can make a habit of this.A bit hard with the Irish weather, but I'll see if I can use Mam's treadmill, if it's raining.

Woo! XD

Best Birthday In A Long Time

I had such a great birthday yesterday!

I had woken up early to catch the bus into the city, to find it was pouring from the heavens. All I thought was, "Typical," but I turned around & continued to get ready - not even the Irish weather was going to ruin my day!

As I walked down to the post office (the bus stop), I rang D to see if she was waiting for the bus at the top of her road. I had this horrible feeling that she would sleep in or something. I've no idea why! She was already in the local town, waiting for the bus there.

When I was at the post office, A, the girl I had met at the Gaeltacht, texted me, saying she had gotten me a birthday present & would like to meet up for a few minutes to give it to me. I thought this was so thoughtful of her! I love this girl - she's feckin' awesome, so I invited her along on the day out, as it was only fair, as she bought me a gift. Plus, she lived in the city, so didn't have to travel 1hr 30mins like we do to get to the city. I was so happy she could come!

Anyway, in the city , J, D & I went shopping & met up with R (she had earlier appointments with the orthodontist, so came into the city with her mam) & A just before we went to see Ted.

Ted is feckin' brilliant! Very funny! I recommend it if you want a bit of a laugh. I'm so glad that we got to see it - all the girls loved it as well! Ha! In yer faces! Who said they didn't want to see it, eh? XD

After the cinema, we had an hour left, so we did a bit more shopping before we had to catch the bus.
Overall, apart from whatever school stuff I bought, I got some vibrant blue, skinny jeans, a plain, light brown, long sleeved t-shirt & this fecking amazing dress! I'll have to take photos or something on Mam's camera or something some day & show you the dress. It's now definitely my favourite dress - I'm going to wear it the first chance I get!

I was sad to say goodbye to A. We won't see each other for at least few months now, especially since she'll be studying like mad for her Leaving Cert (she's in the year ahead of me in school). She said she's going to try come out to my little rural area to see me some day, though! I really hope she can.

Overall, it was a great day & I was so happy to see everyone!

My best birthday in a long time!

Seventeen Sounds So Much Older!

Well, tomorrow (or today depending what time this post goes up at!) is my birthday!

I'll be turning seventeen. It feels sort of weird.

Like, I know it's just a mental thing - I'll still be the exact same as I've bee the today or any other day the past few months.

It's just a number, but at the same time it's the number that makes the difference!

Like, have you ever noticed how certain numbers sound soooooo much larger than its preciser?

I mean, between the numbers 15 & 16, sixteen is the larger digit. One unit larger than fifteen. It doesn't sound that much larger to fifteen either.

However, 17 sounds so much bigger than 16, even though it's the exact same scenario as the numbers, 15 &16.

Maybe, I'm the only one that notices - or even thinks about - stuff like this.

I am a bit weird...! XD

Anyway, apart from that, I'm goin to the city again (I was there for my x-ray today) tomorrow, for the day, with the girls.

We're going to see Ted - I sort of put my foot down on what I wanted to see in the cinema. Haha! We usually choose together what film we want to see, but I didn't want to see the films they wanted to see most of their top choices. So, I did a little, "Well it'll be my birthday that day, so can I choose?" sort of thing! I felt sort of guilty for playing that card, but it'll only be once!

We'll also shop for a bit & do whatever!

I can't wait to see them!

It's going to be a fun day!

Nighty, night all! ^_^

Jaw X-Ray

Today I got my jaw x-rayed.

It's been reaally sore lately. Like, I can open my mouth to a certain point, but after that it feels as if y jaw is trying to resist opening any wider & it can get seriously painful some days. t even eat, yawn or laugh at times without getting a shoot of pain in the left hynge of my jaw.

I won't get the outcome of the x-ray until next week when my GP gets them, so I'll have to wait. I'm sort of nervous about it as I'm afraid I may need some surgical proceeder However, (you may laugh at this) I'm more afraid of having restrictions on using my jaw, like having to mas/blend all my food & suck it from a straw, & not being able to talk - that would kill me! >_< Anyone that knows me will tell you I never shut up sometimes - I'm such a chatty person!

Blah! I guess I'll have to wait & see...!

My Bucket List!

I've just created a page for my bucket list.

For those that don't really know what a bucket list is, I'll explain.

It's a list of things you would like to do or accomplish before you die, also known as kicking the bucket, hense the name, a bucket list!

I think it's a great idea to have one as it lays out all your aims in life. Plus... I just love the feeling of crossing things out on lists! Haha! XD

I hadn't looked at mine in quite a while since I last written on it, until today. So, I've been changing it a bit, wording-wise. To be honest, I haven't really accomplished much either, now that I look at it! I know I had an older one from when I was like 8 or 9, but I don't know where that's disappeared to. If I ever find it, I'll be sure to post it - it'd be a bit of a laugh! ^_^ Now, that I think of it, I know visiting the USA was one of my dreams at that age, so I'll have to add that to the list - just so I can cross it out, seconds later! Haha!

Anyway, you can see my bucket list by clicking on the tab The Bucket List above the blog description or by clicking here.

Do you have bucket lists of your own?

Regular-ish Readers...?! XD

Hey! ^_^

I've been looking at my stats lately & I was wondering does anyone read my blog regularly or much at all...? I know I'm not a huge blogger & nor am I overly exciting in what I've to say, but does anyone actually like reading all this?
What's your reasons? Do you have a blog of your own? Would you like to do a link exchange?

Comment & tell me!





Goodnight! :P



The London 2012 Olympics Have Ended...

I've just watched the Closing Ceremony for the Olympics with my family. I thought it was really well done!
This was the first Olympics that I've actually payed some serious interest to. Like, wow! Ireland won five Olympic medals. Four of them coming from boxing! Ireland proud country right now - I know I am!

The last 17 days have just flown by. Now there's four years to wait, until Rio... It's weird to think I'll be turning 21 that year!

2016, we are coming!!!

Some More Photos!

Here's some more photos from my walk yesterday...!



All taken with Mam's 10MP digital camera! No editing! I can't wait for my own DSLR, I'm still saving up!

The Season Is Basically Over, But Summer Has Just Arrived!

Yesterday was a day for t-shirts, shorts and sandals!
The sun has been shinning, while the temperature has been rising. Summer has finally arrived!
After we quickly cleaned the dinning room & the bedrooms, we watched some of the Irish boxers in the Olympics (Well Done Lads!!! Win or lose, you make us proud!), while eating lunch.

The heat had really started to get to me at that stage, so I rushed into my room, shaved my legs (electric shavers are so handy!) & pulled on a pair of shorts. My sister, brother & I then when for a walk over the road & back, enjoying the gorgeous weather. It was great to get out for a stroll!

Later, my family & I had dinner outside, just like we do every summer. However, this was the first time we could actually do it this year. It just goes to show how crappy the weather has been this year. Hopefully, we'll have a good few more days like this before school starts! It felt so good to sit in the heat of the sun. :)

Some photos I took using Mam's digital camera during our walk...

I have a ton more photos, but they won't load for some reason! I had actually typed this whole blog out last night & fell asleep as the photos loaded, but none of them did! I only managed to get the two above up this morning. The rest still won't load! I'll try again later...

HOLY SHIT!!!!

AAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

There. Was. An. Earwig. In. My. BED!!!!! >_<

I saw him crawl out from beneath my quilt while typing my last post.

I slowly got out of bed and then ran for the bathroom for tissue...

The motherfucker is dead now!

However, I'm wondering how he got there & how long he's been in my bed.

My bedroom & the bed itself are pretty clean, but this creeps me out!

He could have had some friends! D:

I'm never going to sleep at this rate....!

Proud To Be Irish!

Katie Taylor the Olympic Champion!

She is a magnificent boxer & she has made a country proud today!

The Brits even want her, with the English media calling her British.

Sorry, my darlings, she's ours!

She won a good, technical fight with, Russian boxer, Sofya Ochigava.

So well deserving!

She is definitely someone I would look up to and see as a great inspiration.

Oh, I'm just so happy for her!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



The Monthly Knife In The Stomach!

You know God is a lad, when women feel as if a knife is dug into their abdomen monthly.

I didn't post at all yesterday due to this monthly attack. I could barely stand at times, to be honest.
It got to the point where Mam said I could just lay down in bed, as my painkillers weren't working. Again... I think I have to get stronger ones, which means I'll have to get painkillers prescribed by my doctor. The ones I use now are the strongest I can get over the counter! I really don't want to have to get stronger painkillers, but I can't stand at all, at times, with the pains...

The cramps were that bad yesterday when Mam sent me to bed, so I had to distract myself with the hilarious Des Bishop! It worked pretty well too. I watched tons of clips on YouTube of him & I now think I have sort of fan-crush on the fella... He is quite sexy! Haha! That could be my hormones speaking, though! LOL

Also, I always feel bloody (excuse the pun) hungry! Seriously! You'd swear I was a pregnant woman, from my endless desire for food. I mean, yesterday, I ate some fruit before dinner, as I felt sick during lunch so I hadn't eaten. Then I ate my dinner, followed by an ice cream cone. Literally 10 minutes later I was starving again. Crazily, this has happened the last two times I had my period, so I've just quit feeding these insane cravings for more food & try to eat around what I'd normally eat. Well, with a tad more chocolate than normal - I have chocolate cravings on top of all that! Today, I tried to stock up on fruit instead of chocolate, though.... Gosh! I'm getting hungry with all this talk of food & I just brushed my teeth. Dammit! 

Then, on top of all that, there's crazy mood swings; feeling bloated & almost keeling over with tiredness!

I can't wait for the next few days to pass for my system ti return to normal!

What Do Ya Think?

Well, what do you think of my blog layout & design?

Any time I got on the laptop today has going towards the page's makeover! I'm still in the process of editing photos on GIMP, for the title photo. I found some great photos taken by my friend, but they are too small... I'll see what happens for tomorrow!

So, what do ye think otherwise? Easier to read? Nicer design? Should I change anything else? Just comment :)

Getting In Shape!

This post may be triggering to any person with an ED.

I do not have one myself, but I don't wish to trigger anyone that does.

This is just a heads up, so continue reading if you wish. :)

Since I got back from the Gaeltacht, I haven't really been happy with the way I look. To be honest, yes, I know I'm pretty. I may not be the most gorgeous girl around, but, as people say, I'm cute. The thing is, I  don't like my stomach. I never really have. Well, except for when we did the talent show for school last year. Then, my stomach had been flat & I had last several pounds, due to a ton of dance practise.

Otherwise, I'm not entirely active. I play rugby, but it's seasonal sport, with training just once a week. I am a lazy person. There's no two ways about it & I'm not really too ashamed about it either. Well, except when I realised no one else in my house at the Gaeltacht weren't too bothered to wear bikinis or to just show off their stomachs or legs. I'm not a huge fan of either, though I would be more likely to wear a pair of shorts than a bikini.

So, I want to take action on all this negativity. Rugby is starting up soon again, so I've got to be somewhat fit for that too. I don't really plan to cut down on food, but just try to stop going for seconds after dinner, especially when it's a meal I love. I hope to substitute most sugary snakes for fruit instead, or just tell myself "No. Dinner will be ready soon enough." I've been doing that lately & I don't know, I haven't lost anything, weight-wise, but losing weight isn't exactly my main aim anyway, though it may help. My main aim is to flatten my stomach, so I don't see it jutting out in my way when I look down at my feet, so I can just see my toes & a little of my feet that come just before them.

So, I've decided, I will to exercise more. I've started a bit already, doing push-ups & sit-ups. IM had showed me a great way to do sit-ups when she was over in June & my sister found an old book on stretches and exercises that Dad used to use, so I'm putting all that new information to the test.

However, every single time I start something like this, I never finish it. It's not that I don't want to, but, I guess, I get easily distracted or I get too busy with the B&B or school. After that I just want to rest or something. I think I  just have a motivation problem or something. It annoys the shite out of me & I mean to go on, but I just stop. I'm going to work hard this time, though, & try my best to get motivated.

I'm sort of afraid, though. I know it sounds so stupid, but I am. I've learned quite a bit about EDs the last few years, especially anorexia. I'm not an expert & I've never suffered from any ED, but I'm scared that if I do keep exercising & start to think that it's not enough. I'm afraid I'll start doing something unlike me & cut down my food intake, though I do eat pretty healthy overall. I'm scared that I'll start obsessing about my weight & looks, thinking I'm anything but slim. I know it sounds crazy & stupidly immature, but, to be honest, I do worry about it. I know an ED doesn't just start like that, but it could, possibly, couldn't it? I feel so stupid & embarrassed by my fear, but I need to just say it. Like, I know a ton of healthy, fit people without - or have basically overcome, in one case - an ED. However, it still bothers me sometimes... It's idiotic to a point, but I can't help feeling this way. I feel a bit better now that it's off my chest, though.

I think, after I brush my teeth, I'm going to do some sit-ups! Better to push on instead of a fear holding me back, right?