ANGER!!!

I don't want to clean rooms any more or serve people's breakfast. I want to stay up late and not give a shit. I want to sleep in as late as I want. I don't want to go around having to correct the girl that comes to help out in the B&B on the exact same things, almost everyday! I want to breath. I do'nt want fucking retards at school using me to take out their anger.

Just because the principal gave out another fucking EXAMPLE timetable after I talked to him, does not fucking mean it's my fault. I'm ONE goddamn student out of SEVENTY-FIVE!!!! Why the fuck would he change it for me you stupid retards! I didn't even ask him to change it. He even said that it wasn't the final thing.

That time ye decided it would be funny to spread it around that I was pregnant? Shout it out in class so the teachers could hear? Yeah, fucking hilarious. Go play with yourselves, you'll find that ye ain't so fun

Oh, & you know that sixth year that was drinking in school & stealing things from the classrooms, on his last day of school? Did he deserve to get in trouble? Hell yes! But was I the one that told on him, or did ye all just assume, as ye all do & spread it around the school that I did? Yeah, thought so.

I'm so fucking glad it's summer. Finally away from the likes of you bastards.

You can't call me names or push around. Judge me for what I look like, or dream to do. I can breath more, be myself more. I hope, some day, each and every one of you can feel what I've felt. You won't be so quick to go after me then, eh?

 

Maybe this is what happened to me? All this stupid retarded stress?!

Fuck all this!

Just let me breath again...

Overreacting, But Still....!

Oh, my God! I'm actually really pissed off!!!
My good friend, J, says she got a belly button piercing. R, another good friend, says she was with her. This has been over mail on Facebook. I believe neither of them.
I really hope they're joking.
I'll fecking kill them if they're joking!
I really hate belly button piercings. They look lovely - sure, I'd have one myself if that was just it - but they can be so dangerous sometimes.
If someone hits you in the stomach, you're going to be in so much pain. There have been a few cases where belly button piercings have caused life threatening damage to the body of wearers during car accidents, from being hit by someone or getting caught in something. It's too freakin' dangerous to have no matter how "small" the chance may be of you getting hurt.
This is a good example of the small but scary risks. I've read others.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/south_east/7020936.stm

Then the even more common stuff would be the infections, though I do know not everyone gets them...

Risks

Hepatitis and HIV are the more serious, but rare, risks involved with your bellybutton piercing. More common risks include infection, thick scarring known as keloids, nerve damage and an allergic reaction to the jewelry. Bacterial endocarditis, an infection of the surface of the heart, is a risk if you have a moderate to high-risk cardiac condition, according to American Family Physician. Your body could also reject the piercing.

Side Effects

Bleeding, localized swelling, tenderness and bruising are normal side effects during the initial healing process, according to the Association of Professional Piercers. While your piercing heals, you may experience some discoloration, itching or a secretion of a white-yellow color. See your doctor if you have a foul-smelling, yellow secretion coming from your piercing or you develop a fever.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/127699-bellybutton-piercing/#ixzz1ywRHy5vz

On top of all this, I'm 90% sure they're fucking with me.
They better be.
But I'm probably going to be so pissed off if they are. I don't find it funny at all.
If she isn't I don't know what I'll say. She has never, ever, mentioned wanting one before nor doe she seem like the type of girl to have one. Like, we live in Ireland, for Christs sake! When is she even going to be even showing it off, if we don't even have the weather to wear bellytops and the like???
She doesn't even wear that sort of clothes. This is way out of her character. I don't really believe it, but why joke about it? They could obviously tell I was pissed off. I've never been that well at hiding that I'm angry. Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to say Thursday!!!!

Feeling... Blank....

I don't know what I feel... I don't know if I'm angry or just plain upset... Furious or devistated... I mailed her over Facebook that we really need to talk, that I've never been so serious in my life! I haven't told her that I've read her blog yet. I'll only tell her that when I'm sure she will reply right away. I don't think I can stand much more of a delay of a few minutes. The agony of just waiting for her to get online is horrible... Plus I don't want to take the day with her from her dad. He may see her more than I do, but it'd be unfair, wouldn't it? But the day was meant to be spent with me &, it seems, she may have asked to be picked up earlier now, instead of talking out our problems... I just don't know... This blogging thing does help though - I now understand that - but she still has to talk to me, right? She can't just leave me in the dark! I have never left her side (figuritively) when she told me she had anorexia, she cut herself or even when she told me, on Friday, that she had tried to commit suicide! Why would I suddenly be jealous & cruel towards her? Maybe it's the anorexia, or "Ana", talking, but it seriously hurts all the same. I have had many problems as well, since she's left, but I try to tell her, some I haven't managed to form into words for her yet, so am I just as bad? No... I don't think so... It's out relationship that's got the brunt of whatever is wrong with her now - I have. I stayed up until 4am last night after posting my three blogs, crying... I couldn't stop... Someone just help me... Please!!! <3