A Sore Stomach on a Day made for Eating Chocolate

Oh, the irony of it all!
The one day of the year you're basically allowed to eat chocolate more than any other, I feel like crap. Which means no chocolate eating. Just staring at my yummy Easter egg, while it taunts me. Typical!

There's something evil about that. There really is...

Standing Out in the Cold

I've spent the day bloody freezing!

Mam, my sister & I went to a market in town & were selling jams, cakes & brownies - all homemade! The wind was terrible & the cold bit into us. My feet were sore, as they had turned into a pair of icicles. I ended up sticking hand warmers into my shoes in order to hear them up a bit - it didn't work overly well.
We didnt really sell much. I mean, we did better than a lot of stalls, but people were more interested in the horses (the market was part of a thing were they were selling ponies) & didn't even bother to give us a glance. Not exactly encouraging. Especially if you're freezing.
I did, however, get my Year Head (the teacher that looks after my year group at school) to buy 3 brownies. She's awesome!
Overall, apart from being freezing & ignored, I think I had a good time. The women at the stalls around were good humoured & really nice to chat to :) Like there was a group of elderly & middle-aged women next to us & they were such good craic! Because we were so cold my sister & I started jumping & sort of dancing to keep warm. I looked over & one of the women was dancing! She saw me smiling & started laughing. There was small moments like that throughout the day. It was really nice :)

So, I feel that it was worthwhile, apart from the cold :)

Easter Holidays, aka Two Weeks of Freedom!

Thank God! I'm just so tired & sick of school at this point. This is one well needed break. School is way too stressful & often with an unwelcoming atmosphere as of late - not fun!
So, for the next two weeks I plan to relax & to help mam about the place. Maybe DA & I'll meet up with A & her boyfriend for a double date thingy... That'll be good craic! I've also to do some job hunting for summer. Lots of it, I'm sure. So, I better start printing CVs!
I'm also going to be doing an art portfolio course the first week of April. It's to help kickstart organising myself to apply to colleges & ITs. It'll be nerve wracking & intimidating - there'll be students aiming for art college & who're just naturally gifted. Compared to be like that, I'm rubbish, but I've to do this for myself, so no backing down! Plus four full days of art? That HAS to be fun!

Now, I'm off to eat breakfast & organise myself for the day!

Lonely...

People are all around me, but lately I feel so alone...

How Am I Still Hungry?!

Since around 11am today I've been continuously starving. It's not that I'm not eating - I've probably eaten more than usual - it's just there's that constant feeling of an empty stomach & hunger pains.
I mean, I still have this feeling while I'm eating! It got so bad at one stage I felt sick...
A friend's mam said it could be due to tiredness. Apparently the body mixes up the signals sometimes. Or I mightn't be drinking enough of water. Hopefully that's all it is. I've had it a handful of times before, but never this bad. I'm praying a good nights sleep will rid me of it.

Fingers crossed!
Shauna :)

Love?

How do you know you're in love? Seriously.

It'd be so much easier for both parties if ye just knew, wouldn't it? There would less heartache & even less time wasted. You wouldn't lead anyone to believe you were in love with them only to realise you aren't months later. I'm afraid that I'm doing this to DA... I'm sure this what I did to my last boyfriend & I really hope it's not happening again.
However, the words "I love you" are often on the tip of my tongue & I've even said it once by accident... I'm not even sure I'm in love with him, so why say it? Sometimes I feel so very positive about my feelings, but I often don't as well. I don't want to hurt him or lead him on, but I don't want to lose him either...

Am I being selfish? I really wish I could understand how I feel. Why must love be such a complicated & difficult feeling to understand?

Bank Holiday Monday

I've no school today! Woo!
Yet, I feel shit today! Not so woo...

Typical, eh? The day you officially have a day of freedom & you just happen to not feel so good. That really has tendency to occur on my free days. Grrr....!

I didn't sleep well last night, tossing & turning because of a stomachache. I had planned to sleep in because of that, but a friend texted me before 9am to contact my boyfriend for her - their maths teacher organised a day of maths so they could get on top of things for the Leaving Cert (he's in the year ahead of me) - to see where he wanted to be picked up so she could bring him into school.
So, after that, I tried to get back to sleep... Does anyone notice when you really want to sleep & you get really comfy, you end up needing the toilet? This always happens to me! So I trudged across the hallway to the bathroom, before --

*Breaking News:* Mam just came into my room to tell me that my cousin got engaged yesterday! Yay! Her new fiancé is such a sweetheart! Ooh, happy times!

Ah, where was I? Oh yeah, basically I told Mam & Dad that I felt ill & I was going to sleep for a bit longer. It didn't help that my stomach had begun to really irritate me once more, but I did manage to accomplish my mission & I arose around 11am.

The plan for the rest of today is to get whatever homework & study done for tomorrow. My tummy is still bugging me so I don't know what else I'll do, maybe stream a film or something. Mam wants me to do a few things about the place, but I'm not very willing to do much at the moment... Am I ever? Yes, I am a lazy git.

Anyhow, I better go put some clothes in the dryer. Talk soon,

Shauna